Some of my favorite quotes from songs, movies, books and whatnot.

Guess where they're all from and win absolutly nothing. Yaay!

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.

Not terribly funny... but when it comes to videos involving sexual harassment and senior citizens, exceptions will be made.

I can crawl around the floor like I'm real , like you. 

The sound of metal, I want to be you,

 I can learn to be a man,

Like you.

Could you stop the meat from thinking before I swallow all of it? Could you please?

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate. 

I don't do drugs,

I am drugs.

If you don't raise your children, I will.

I pee dead center in the toilet and make as much noise as possible in order to assert my dominance.

There once was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight." And then one day the loggers came, and the foreman said, "Cut down all the straight down" The crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.

A singer-songwriter doesn't have shit to say unless they're a lesbian.

That big black hole at the center of the universe? That's Ayn Rand's Cunt.

coffee makes you shit, I aint tryin' to shit.

This is heavier then a circus midget watching Maury Povich clean a shotgun.

Double points if they're a black lesbian.