Saturday, January 12, 2013

43% of what I say is true.

This last month I got into a car accident, got into a shoot out with the police, sold some PCP to Alex Jones, masturbated to five on one dude porn, killed members of congress, pawned my panties and bought a car battery. It's been a shit show but all things considered I'm having a wonderful time. Wish you were here... Killing congressmen with me.

Speaking of people who need a gun pointed at them, I say anyone with a gun and a Jesus/pro-life bumper sticker is in dire need of a locked room, a bushmaster and rations with just enough mercury to make things interesting.

Don't get me wrong, I think guns are pretty cool, I mean when I feel sexually inadequate and scared of everyone I like to just stroke my ar-15 and whisper myself quietly to sleep.

It's my right and duty to America to protect myself from crazies with guns by buying more guns then the crazies all around me. You know those liberal fascists trying to take my guns so they can put me in white slavery re-education camps so I can play patty cake with tree hugging Maoist dyke African baby adopters. Not on my watch, you cunts.

I bet you don't even go to church.

Love Big Mike.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Two pence buys you the ending of happy thoughts!

I pity the world once that vile, super overrated, super media hungry whore offspring comes screaming out of the black man eating death trap of hers.

May the fickle mob have much of a bounty to come.

Tunes. And Peace.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Your interwebz is broken...use interwebz to find solution?

Some gory details...

I spent yesterday vomiting out of my ass and puking from the apparatus of my asshole. Luckily my sister saved me with a sprite and some chicken noodle soup. It was funny, because apparently I came stumbling into the living space where my dad was, and I go ;

"Hello Jason. My name is god. And I have a plan for your son. I am going to put him through the most agonizing pain he's ever experienced, he wont be able to hold down solid food for a couple days, he is going to vomit as if expelling demons, and every time he does vomit, he will also, literally, shit himself."

"And then what, lord?"

"Good night" And then I stumbled back into my room and passed out. What does that tell you about his plan for us? Pain.

Anyways, some pleasure for your ear/eye holes

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Theres a Devil in my ass!

Interesting video from the Young Turks, a personal favorite of mine as far as news is concerned.

What good is a religion if it makes being gay seem like full blown possession? If gays were possessed with the demonic rectal baby of Satan himself, you would have been mauled by one in a drama department or a musical or a Vietnamese nail salon or some other stereotypical gay hang out. Homosexuals are a lot of things, but possessed by the dark one they are not and to think otherwise is to display a clear break with reality. It's clear this guy has been shamed into thinking all sorts of craziness. You can see it in his big gay eyes.

Point Being: Catholicism is a helluva drug.

Love Big Mike.