What good is a religion if it makes being gay seem like full blown possession? If gays were possessed with the demonic rectal baby of Satan himself, you would have been mauled by one in a drama department or a musical or a Vietnamese nail salon or some other stereotypical gay hang out. Homosexuals are a lot of things, but possessed by the dark one they are not and to think otherwise is to display a clear break with reality. It's clear this guy has been shamed into thinking all sorts of craziness. You can see it in his big gay eyes.
As I'm you're all aware, (because the majority of this fine, upstanding Christian nation are fine, upstanding Christians) Easter is upon us. Now, anyone who knows me personally knows that I fucking love Easter, sorry, I mean Chocolate Bunny Day, I couldn't really give a rigorous ejaculation about Jesus. This Jew-zombie apathy is mainly because I'm a LEEEEEEBERAL and an Atheist, but also because I can't take a holiday seriously that A) the whole reason it exists is to overshadow an older, probably a lot more naked and drunk pagan holiday, B) the whole biblical reasoning behind said overshadowing contradicts itself and C) it's turned into a reason for confectionery companies to make money hand over fist.
Now, given all that, It's still surprisingnot surprising at all that conservatives seem to loose their shit when their made up fucking joke of a holiday doesn't get respected enough to their liking. Here's a fine example:
Now, let me say this from jump, this is CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network, but I swear to god I thought it was Fox News the first two times I saw it. None the less bullshit needs to be addressed.
First, I'd like to point out that there's something really, really wrong with the way American Christianity has a real beef with "Environmentalism". It's like they get really offended if they're asked to be environmentally conscious.
Metaphor: Imagine telling your rich, bimbo room mate (the one with the over inflated sense of entitlement) to help you clean up their fucking mess in your apartment. Now imagine her telling you that she wont, either because she thinks that her daddy owns the apartment (presenting you absolutely no proof) and therefore she can do what ever she wants OR she claims that the mess she made not only doesn't exist but that you're lying about it.
That, or they think recycling is the work of Satan.
But all that annoying environmental ignorance aside, what the fuck is with this false equivalency between Easter and Earthday? Earthday is cool and all (Besides the candy-assed name it's been cursed with) but Easter is still Easter to liberals and atheists. It's a reason to kick back, over eat and watch kids run into things: fun for the whole damn family. What really cracks me up are the numbers they use as a crowbar to make this false equivalency fall out of their ass.
"nearly two thirds of all Easter stories were negative"
So? Easter is a boring news fluffer.
"91% of those stories linked Easter with a pedophile scandal involving catholic priests"
Whoa, what were the other nine percent about?
"On the other side it found that 100% of Earthday stories were positive"
You think it might have something to do with the conspicuous lack of children getting raped by Holy Men?
What's next in the video is that same old tired narrative of "America is a christian nation! We're 80 percent of the population! We're being persecuted! The liberal media is attacking us!" which is word-for-word horseshit. America IS comprised mostly of christians which makes the whole Liberal Media Argument fall on it's fucking face. 90 percent of American media is either Conservative of Fascisticly so. The only time you hear about the "Liberal Media" is when someone says something that the republican, pro-white, homophobic, anti-women, racist, corporatist christian media doesn't like. Without even the slightest hint of irony, I might add.
Now, as a man, and a really liberal, could-give-a-fuck kinda man, I've never ever found the conservative, victim blaming, "She dressed like a whore" excuse for rape to hold much water. Conservatives, and I'm not gonna sugar coat it, hate women, freedom and the American way. But I had this principle tested last night at work.
Let me describe her, she was wearing a shirt. I didn't get a good look at her face because I was scanning her legs and wondering her reasoning for wearing a skirt that short this time of the year... No, no wait. There's no skirt. Oh man, her ass cheeks are hanging out! I doubt she was wearing any underwear.
And you know what, conservatives, I still didn't want to rape her. As much as that shit would just thrill you.
But you kooky conservatives are into some, lets just say some frankly heinous shit. Especially you conservative women. You anti-choice, abstinence-only educating, home-schooling mothers just shit out girls that are going to put out anyway but are less likely to use contraception and much more likely to think that having an orgasm makes Jesus cry.
It does, but not in they way you'd automatically assume.
At this juncture I'd like to show you some Abstinence Panties from a website called What Would Your Mother Do? I'm not really how sure that applies to dealing with the frat boy's erect cock pointing at you because "make a stupid fucking website selling underwear with slogans on it" is really very niche advise.
Wow, okay, there's a real problem here. Why are these girls going to wait until they're to their underwear to spring the "I'm waiting till marriage, blah blah blah" line? Talk about rape-baiting. At this point, all they'll be is talking vaginas to the hormone stupid christian boys they're blue balling. Is she at least going to take it in the ass like a good christian girl trying to preserve her virginity?
