Sunday, April 24, 2011

Serious Shit: The "LEEEEEEEBERAL" Media

As I'm you're all aware, (because the majority of this fine, upstanding Christian nation are fine, upstanding Christians) Easter is upon us. Now, anyone who knows me personally knows that I fucking love Easter, sorry, I mean Chocolate Bunny Day, I couldn't really give a rigorous ejaculation about Jesus. This Jew-zombie apathy is mainly because I'm a LEEEEEEBERAL and an Atheist, but also because I can't take a holiday seriously that A) the whole reason it exists is to overshadow an older, probably a lot more naked and drunk pagan holiday, B) the whole biblical reasoning behind said overshadowing contradicts itself and C) it's turned into a reason for confectionery companies to make money hand over fist.

Now, given all that, It's still surprising not surprising at all that conservatives seem to loose their shit when their made up fucking joke of a holiday doesn't get respected enough to their liking. Here's a fine example:

Now, let me say this from jump, this is CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network, but I swear to god I thought it was Fox News the first two times I saw it. None the less bullshit needs to be addressed.

First, I'd like to point out that there's something really, really wrong with the way American Christianity has a real beef with "Environmentalism". It's like they get really offended if they're asked to be environmentally conscious.

Metaphor: Imagine telling your rich, bimbo room mate (the one with the over inflated sense of entitlement) to help you clean up their fucking mess in your apartment. Now imagine her telling you that she wont, either because she thinks that her daddy owns the apartment (presenting you absolutely no proof) and therefore she can do what ever she wants OR she claims that the mess she made not only doesn't exist but that you're lying about it.

That, or they think recycling is the work of Satan.
But all that annoying environmental ignorance aside, what the fuck is with this false equivalency between Easter and Earthday? Earthday is cool and all (Besides the candy-assed name it's been cursed with) but Easter is still Easter to liberals and atheists. It's a reason to kick back, over eat and watch kids run into things: fun for the whole damn family. What really cracks me up are the numbers they use as a crowbar to make this false equivalency fall out of their ass.

"nearly two thirds of all Easter stories were negative"

So? Easter is a boring news fluffer.

"91% of those stories linked Easter with a pedophile scandal involving catholic priests"

Whoa, what were the other nine percent about?

"On the other side it found that 100% of Earthday stories were positive"

You think it might have something to do with the conspicuous lack of children getting raped by Holy Men?

What's next in the video is that same old tired narrative of "America is a christian nation! We're 80 percent of the population! We're being persecuted! The liberal media is attacking us!" which is word-for-word horseshit. America IS comprised mostly of christians which makes the whole Liberal Media Argument fall on it's fucking face. 90 percent of American media is either Conservative of Fascisticly so. The only time you hear about the "Liberal Media" is when someone says something that the republican, pro-white, homophobic, anti-women, racist, corporatist christian media doesn't like. Without even the slightest hint of irony, I might add.

Happy Chocolate Bunny Day, Fuckos.

Big Mike.

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