The Desert Dogs are coming soon.

 

© Michael McCormack

© Michael McCormack

All over your chest,

Big Mike

Everything is not in its right place

I had gone on my very own artsy fartsy rant about some artsy fartsy jerk off of the young British artists movement, and you decided that the entire system had to overload. Does Damien Hirst have you by the balls?

 Mike's entry was deleted as well. Not fucking cool, man.

So what you missed;

Me - Everything > Damien Hirst
Mike - Don't like what I do? Fuck off.

So, yeah. Thats about it.

~Xavier R.

P.S. Did you hear about the one they call god? He gives a blessing per $5 and forgiveness per $50.

Rant

It’s 5:08 pm do you know where your heads at? I’m guess no, because I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND BLOGGING FROM THE FUTURE! I have a job that takes me around the country, well kind of. Right now I’m in Chicago and been here since May 5th. Here is the part where I make a nonsensical jump. I’ve been coming here off and on for the past several months to work on the same job(s) as of now it’s just one. Anyhow when I first arrived I liked it because it was new and exciting and I had never been here before, but then as the days dragged on I noticed how wretched this city is, okay maybe not the city but the people, and not all the people just the ones I don’t talk to…and a few of the ones I do(that’s a run on sentence). These people are not like the ones in my town of Seattle they all look bitchy even the dudes. I get the feeling every time I walk by a guy in a suite while I’m scrubbed out in my “suite” has that “I’m soooooo much better than you” look in his/her eye. Well guess what dick wad If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have that 9-5 that allows you to walk around and scoff at other people. I’m sorry your parents shamed you into getting a “good job.” I’m sorry that when you go on vacation you have to pay for it, I consider mine, company sponsored. My job is cake, I stand around, I find wet spots, ladies ;), I put fucking tape on the ground, oh yeah and I fly to parts of the country you’ll never go to. So Mr(s) A-hole, next time you wanna stare down your nose at me remember my job is better, easier, and financially comparable to what your boring middle management job is. Some of you may think I feel inferior because of my feeling that people are looking down on me, that’s not true. These assholes really do look you up and down and get a disgusted look on their faces.



Now to the assholes that think the horn is a necessity to driving in Chicago, ITS NOT. For the love of fucking god (who does not exist, notice the non-capitalization) it’s not! I shit you not I was eating lunch and heard a horn being blessed by the all might hand of (wo?)man for at least 2 minutes. I know that doesn’t sound like long but go out to your car and hold that fucker down for 30 seconds and tell me that doesn’t feel like an eternity. I was actually getting worried about a minute in. I thought maybe somebody died and smashed their face onto the center receptacle of annoying goodness. However my lazy ass didn’t check. Eventually the horn stopped and no sirens came, so I assumed the worst...or best whatever your opinion may be. With that extreme case said how about all you fucks who must belive that the proportion of horn to traffic speed is directly connected, learn that it’s a fucking warning device! Not for the encouragement of 4 wheeled cattle.

YOU MOTHER FUCKING TAXIES!!! I’M CROSSING THE STREET, DO YOU FUCKING MIND! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU, INBRED, MORONIC, CITIZENS NEED TO READ A FUCKING DRIVING MANUAL. I AM NOT A FUCKING SPEED BUMP. YOU TO FUCKING BUS DRIVERS SHIT GOD DAMN IF YOU ARE MAKING A LEFT TURN EITHER SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING WAIT OR FIND AN ALTERNATE ROUTE. YOU ALL ENRAGE ME! AS I ONCE HEARD FROM A FRIEND GO DIE IN A GREASE FIRE!!!! FUCKING RAGE QUITING THIS FUCKING POST, GOD DAMN GUIDE BUTTON Y TO MAIN MENU FUCK THIS SHIT

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p.s. like you care but, company sponsored vacations

Some Bands are just a "Big 'Fuck You' In Your Fat Fucking Face"

You know, I've not been too busy as of late, that is except for pissing off a lot of people for my last post. I stand by what I said, 100 percent, balls deep, all night, swingin' past my knees.If you didn't like it, well, whatever.
This is my blog, bitches. 
Suck it.

In the spirit of pissing you stupid people off in the worst way I could muster, short of pissing in your gas tank and laughing maniaclly as I smear my own feces all over your car windows, I want to share some music that you'll hate. Because you're inbred? Most likely.

Aphex Twin -Omgyjya Switch 7

Can't you read that title? You can't because you don't speak Cornish. Hope you're proud of yourself.

Boredoms - Acid Police

Seriously, aren't you proud of yourself? I heard your mother is proud of you.

 

Mr Bungle - Carry Stress in the Jaw

I'm lying. She hates you. 

Celtic Frost - Synagoga Satanae

Everyone hates you. 

Sunn -Cry for the Weeper

 

Go die.

Antagonistically yours,

Big Mike.

My top 5 music artists (In no particular Order)

RADIOHEAD

A band that is constantly evolving, constantly pushing themselves. Though nearly all of them have two decades of age on me, it seems that each album is the growth I happen to be at in my life. Plus all their music is so amazing and feels so tortured you just sort of want to...take all their powers, highlander style.


WU-TANG CLAN

Wu-Tang Clan really aint nothin to fuck wit. Every member a master MC, the backing music genius, and the lyrics are real, rough, yet not too typical of a rap group of this ilk.




JIMI HENDRIX

Beyond being considered by many (and myself) as still the greatest guitarist player who ever lived, his knack for innovation in music in general is something that needs to taken into deep consideration. Though I don't listen to him as frequently as I use to, I still view him as a favorite.


THE SUBWAYS

The subways are the sort of band that you listen to when you wake up in the morning. The Subways are the sort of band you play at the party you're having after a hard week of work. The subways are simplistic in a masterful way, and so raw, that you are conflicted in wither you should be fucking or fighting someone.




CHARLES MINGUS

My jazz standard. When I'm not leeching off inspiration from his bass playing capabilities or studying how he composed, I'm relaxing with a cigar and listening to song after song from repertoire. To back step, the man was most likely the most talented composer that ever lived. It is just unfortunate how dark and tortured his life often was.


There you have it. If you haven't heard some of them, I implore you to have a listen.

~Xavier R.

Huh? What?

Decided that I'm going to work on a weekly webcomic just for you! No not you, YOU!!!! It will be a reflection of my boring, recurrent, monotonous, repetitive, humdrum, redundant life. If I don't have goals I end up a mass of lazy and uninspiring crap factory.



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p.s. Boobies are nice