Saturday, October 17, 2015

AND THE PLANE BECOMES A METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE...


Holy shit, this place looks a lot better now, don't you think? I took me a bit to throw together... but I think it was worth it. kinda Halloweeny, eh?

Just wanted to check in with you all, see how you're doing. Good? Oh, how lovely. I've been busy grinding on Route 6, training my Nidorino and Kadabra to really kick some dicks... I'm worried though they're going to start disobeying me if I don't get the next badge soon. 

If you're returning to childhood as I am, maybe you've been told by your father that he never wants to see your face again, maybe you feel the horrible memories of your childhood flooding back. Because you are a disappointment to a man who never really raised you in the first place, you'll never have his approval. He looks at you and sees nothing but his own failings and he hates you for it. What ever the reason for your sad, blubbering regress, make sure you give PokeMMO a shot.

You get yourself some roms of the Gameboy games (I chose Fire Red, Crystal and Soul Silver), put it in the folder and fire it up. It looks pretty darn good on computer, better then it did in my Pokemon blue playing heyday at least. and the first thing you'll notice is the once near-deserted looking world of pokemon is now a wash in people wanting to be the very best, like no one ever was. You can battle and trade with them. It's a good time to be had by all.


So we passed ten thousand views on the blog recently, I'd like to thank you all for this. We only have 8 followers (most of which aren't authors) so I'd like the thank them especially for tirelessly refreshing the blog hundreds of times each.

I'd never have thought this would have happened to be honest, the fact that anyone would visit this site accidentally confounds me. Xavier and I started it on a goof in 2011 and named it in reference to a joke that bears not repeating. We started strong, talked about our lives, our taste in music and movies, even gave you some fiction. We busted our nut and disappeared up our own assholes... Near radio silence for 3 years... then Xavier and I reconciled; refreshed, older, wiser and a little drunker. We've nearly doubled the output we had from 2012 to 2014 and I think, for what it's worth, that 10,000 views is a good omen. Here's to the future!

Praise be to the God Emperor Trump!

Love,
Big Mike.


Friday, October 16, 2015

Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump!

I really wish I could stay interested in the more fickle current events, but I suppose that in and about itself is a little redundant? I am not quite sure. Really, how much can people really listen to all the brogurt Donald Trump spews?*

*Disclaimer; Every time I mention Donald, Trump, or Donald Trump, I get a nickel. I mean, Donald Trump, also known as Donald Trump, is so damn annoying. I mean, Donald Trump built Trump towers, there's a duck named Donald, and Donald Trump has a wife that's so hot she's hideous. Now that's playing the trump card.


Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump,  Yay! I made enough to buy a Brillo pad and scrub my cock off.


Suddenly the motivation is gone. Is it weird that I kind of hate Mexicans now? Damn Obama.

PLAYLIST!

~Donald Trump

Donald Trump - Mac Miller

Up Like Trump - Rae Sremmurd

I Wanna Be Like The Donald - Tusk

Big Bad Don; The Ballad Of Donald Trump - Ron MacCloskey

Donald Trump Song - T Moody

Thursday, October 15, 2015

All your base are belong to us

Somebody set up us the bomb

Approximately how many days has it been since we had last posted? Well,  *counts fingers* fuck you. That's how many days. I mean, how much pseudo hipster snobbery, drunken rants, hatefully confused reviews, and random playlists can y'all nyuccas REALLY want? A lot more? Well, OK. Truth of the matter is;

1. I'm busy
2. I'm lazy
4. I can't count
3. Big Mike is busy murdering bunnies and feeding them to crying children. And by bunnies I mean their parents.


Hearing this angry dy...empowered woman music in the background at my office makes me feel like I just don't need to take your shit. Because I'm a strong independent woman and I aint need no man!

*Disclaimer* I am a man


I think.

I'm gonna put my love syrup on your sleepy muffins

So, here in these United States of 'Murica, a bunch of old, Caucasian sociopath millionaires, also known as politicians, belonging to a group of hippies and moochers called "Democrats" the other day had a fancy little tirade of bullshit called a "debate." Essentially, these near carbon copy robot wannabe murderers answer questions pertaining to the future and goings on of our beautiful, bigoted country in evasive ways in a fashion almost identical to one another. The concept is, sheep (also known as t.v. viewers, i.e. you and your fat pig of a wife) will buy a bunch of t-shirts or stupid fucking bumper stickers to fund their quest to be in a smelly oval shaped office so that they can legally kill more people who don't think like them.

Problem is, either one of those assholes, or an asshole I had mentioned in a previous post, will likely become President of The United States of America, and de facto most powerful person on the planet. The reason that's bad is because the rest of the world already hates, well, the rest of the world, us especially, and it is not likely that an individual who has a "take what I can for me and then split." personality will bode well when more and more of everyone has the deadliest of all issues when it comes to ego;

Nukes and tiny penises.

It seems that anyone who would actually give a shit and do well for us wont run.


BILL/TED 2016


Oh well. Bring it on, end of the world. I'll be waiting with a cocktail.

~Xavier R. (I think I'll start this again)

p.s.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Feel Good, Inc. - Gorlliaz

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Full Version) - Pink Floyd

Until The Day I Die - Story Of The Year

Bobby James - N.E.R.D.