Until...

As.soon.as.I.get.my.new.keyboard.in.the.mail,.I'll.resume.my.high.class.awesomeness.


Fuck.all.of.you.

~Xavier.R.

Biscuits and gravy
Oh baby you slay me
I wanna eat you on the daily
Common and baste me
You’re so fucking tasty
I’m hungry and horny
Baby don’t ignore me
I need your touch
Gotta get a stroke of that fluff
Just once is never enough
I’ll eat you while fondling my nuts
It’s even better when you’re coming out of my butt
Your cream is the stuff
Any bit that’s left is getting heated up for lunch
A little afternoon delight
Yeah you heard me right
Breakfast lunch and dinner shit I’ll do it all night

±
p.s.

Some sexy, sexy shit.

Awww yeeeeah.

Big Mike.

A penny for your cognitive reflex.

The sun finally beats on my brow, yet I can find nothing meaningful with the purpose of the rays other then feeding crops of hot pepper plants. It will soon be time to feast on roast beast, cooked over a fire that is of man mined gases. Perhaps knowing my meal was once alive will lend me a helping hand in uplifting my spirit. A spirit which lays either idle or in a negative creep, just because. Just because I'm alive. This gives me my gifts of artistic creativity. If you can call throwing paint at a canvas for three hours, then knocking it down, and at last standing over it whilst crying and masturbating simultaneously artistic creativity.

I am more of a musician anyways.

A musician anyways.

A musician similar and inferior to the great bassist Gerard Smith of T.V. On The Radio, who passed away on the 20th of this month, something I did not know until now. A shy man, a kick ass man, a man who will be missed.

~Xavier R.

Welcome to a Christian nation.

Thanks to American evangelical Christians and politicians, it's everything you'd ever want. You should go there.

Visit On Knees for Jesus' blog

Big Mike

When you hear certain songs, don't you just wanna fuck?

I dislike The Strokes a fair amount, but whenever I hear this, I wanna do terrible things to a pussy

Sure, maybe its a bit much to admit. But, it really isn't. Fuck off. Well, fuck on, as the case may be. I shall proclaim more things in the future!

~Xavier R.

Everyone I went to highschool with is dead.

Ever get the feeling you're further away from everyone then ever before? That you're around people all day but you don't exist for them and they barely exist for you? That you're slipping away, further and further? Soon you'll disappear and you'll just be that person they vaguely remember, the one that didn't talk much, or the one that talked a lot but had nothing worth saying; the one who muttered to themselves, cried for no reason and flinched every time you brushed past them.

Remember high school? Every person you ever knew there is dead. You're never going to see them again, but those memories are still there, fading ever slower as time goes on. Remember that first kiss? The first time you got dumped? The second? The third? Fourth and Fifth? Remember when some kid broke your nose? The humiliation as you broke down, crying in the middle of the class room? They all remember, and they still make fun of you. Your girlfriend dumped you because Mitchel broke your nose and she fucked him the next day. He probably had a way bigger dick then you anyway.

All these people are dead. But you revive when you look them up on facebook, they're all living way better lives then you are, just like you thought. You got what you wanted man, that bitter little taste in the back of your throat. What are you gonna do with it? You had such a crush on her, but were too much of a pussy to do anything about it when you were standing right there.

She looks so happy.

She looks so relieved you never asked, she wouldn't have wanted to turn you down.
Forget her. She's dead now, man.

Get over it.

If it so pleases the court

  

Today is the day when pagans dressed as even more foolish people find yet another reason to get drunk and fat. Stop finding reasons, silly people, and just get drunk and fat. I have spoken. That is all.

~Xavier R.

p.s. Stupid center text format thing.

Serious Shit: The "LEEEEEEEBERAL" Media

As I'm you're all aware, (because the majority of this fine, upstanding Christian nation are fine, upstanding Christians) Easter is upon us. Now, anyone who knows me personally knows that I fucking love Easter, sorry, I mean Chocolate Bunny Day, I couldn't really give a rigorous ejaculation about Jesus. This Jew-zombie apathy is mainly because I'm a LEEEEEEBERAL and an Atheist, but also because I can't take a holiday seriously that A) the whole reason it exists is to overshadow an older, probably a lot more naked and drunk pagan holiday, B) the whole biblical reasoning behind said overshadowing contradicts itself and C) it's turned into a reason for confectionery companies to make money hand over fist.

Now, given all that, It's still surprising not surprising at all that conservatives seem to loose their shit when their made up fucking joke of a holiday doesn't get respected enough to their liking. Here's a fine example:

Now, let me say this from jump, this is CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network, but I swear to god I thought it was Fox News the first two times I saw it. None the less bullshit needs to be addressed.

First, I'd like to point out that there's something really, really wrong with the way American Christianity has a real beef with "Environmentalism". It's like they get really offended if they're asked to be environmentally conscious.

Metaphor: Imagine telling your rich, bimbo room mate (the one with the over inflated sense of entitlement) to help you clean up their fucking mess in your apartment. Now imagine her telling you that she wont, either because she thinks that her daddy owns the apartment (presenting you absolutely no proof) and therefore she can do what ever she wants OR she claims that the mess she made not only doesn't exist but that you're lying about it.

That, or they think recycling is the work of Satan.

But all that annoying environmental ignorance aside, what the fuck is with this false equivalency between Easter and Earthday? Earthday is cool and all (Besides the candy-assed name it's been cursed with) but Easter is still Easter to liberals and atheists. It's a reason to kick back, over eat and watch kids run into things: fun for the whole damn family. What really cracks me up are the numbers they use as a crowbar to make this false equivalency fall out of their ass.

"nearly two thirds of all Easter stories were negative"

So? Easter is a boring news fluffer.

"91% of those stories linked Easter with a pedophile scandal involving catholic priests"

Whoa, what were the other nine percent about?

"On the other side it found that 100% of Earthday stories were positive"

You think it might have something to do with the conspicuous lack of children getting raped by Holy Men?

What's next in the video is that same old tired narrative of "America is a christian nation! We're 80 percent of the population! We're being persecuted! The liberal media is attacking us!" which is word-for-word horseshit. America IS comprised mostly of christians which makes the whole Liberal Media Argument fall on it's fucking face. 90 percent of American media is either Conservative of Fascisticly so. The only time you hear about the "Liberal Media" is when someone says something that the republican, pro-white, homophobic, anti-women, racist, corporatist christian media doesn't like. Without even the slightest hint of irony, I might add.

Happy Chocolate Bunny Day, Fuckos.

Big Mike.