Saturday, January 12, 2013

43% of what I say is true.

This last month I got into a car accident, got into a shoot out with the police, sold some PCP to Alex Jones, masturbated to five on one dude porn, killed members of congress, pawned my panties and bought a car battery. It's been a shit show but all things considered I'm having a wonderful time. Wish you were here... Killing congressmen with me.

Speaking of people who need a gun pointed at them, I say anyone with a gun and a Jesus/pro-life bumper sticker is in dire need of a locked room, a bushmaster and rations with just enough mercury to make things interesting.

Don't get me wrong, I think guns are pretty cool, I mean when I feel sexually inadequate and scared of everyone I like to just stroke my ar-15 and whisper myself quietly to sleep.

It's my right and duty to America to protect myself from crazies with guns by buying more guns then the crazies all around me. You know those liberal fascists trying to take my guns so they can put me in white slavery re-education camps so I can play patty cake with tree hugging Maoist dyke African baby adopters. Not on my watch, you cunts.

I bet you don't even go to church.

Love Big Mike.

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