Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Apocalypse, Eventually! (And other such Egregious Platitudes)

You're going to burn in hell for your dirty thoughts.
You're going to burn in hell for your clean ideas
You're going to burn in hell for your wicked world without a god
You're going to burn in hell for your righteous world with a god

You're going to hell
You're going to burn there

You're going to burn in hell for making fun of my ways
You're going to burn in hell for being good to differences
You're going to burn in hell for your hate and your spite
You're going to burn in hell for your love and your peace

You're going to hell
You're going to burn there

You're going to burn in hell because they say so
You're going to burn in hell because they say not
You're going to burn in hell because someone somewhere thinks so
You're going to hell. You're going to burn there

The end.

Either a major media outlet, politician, or religious doctrine wrote that treatise on redemption (?)

Take your pick.

Yay, God! Kill everyone!

Hello and good day. It just so happens that I am going to tell you about an evil monster that lurks in the shadows yet attacks under the sun. His name is Kigaboocha, and he eats naughty children.

Kigaboocha was spawned amidst a swamp surrounding a small meth-amphetamine cultivating town, located in the south of some particular country. The combination of swamp gases, insects, backwater Satanic revivals set to Country renditions of jazz songs, and probably a crocodile, formed what came to be a hideous monster standing a gargantuan 7' 3''. It had disgusting antennas sprouting from an eyeless visage and a mouth that held teeth made for tearing open armored trucks.

When this beast came to the shore and stumbled into a backyard playing host to a small child's birthday party, it was greeted with the anxious and terrified squeals of many wee tots. The monstrosity reassured them he was friendly. As soon as such words came to fruition, a piece of newly shared birthday cake in hands, the abortion of god sprung out towards the buffet table, claws and fangs bared.

You see, a child had complained that he didn't get all the creme puffs he wanted, but his mother would not let him have anymore. Moments after that verdict, the little one tried to pull on the table cloth so the creme puffs would fall to the ground and easily reachable. The accursed leper pounced without thought, clenched the child in his mouth and bit down, chewing and gnashing at the small, weak frame with sounds so awful that the screams and noises that came from the nubile wretch seemed to come out as "Kigaboocha." The creature and his horrified onlookers would soon adopt the name for him. The crowed dispersed as if in a breaking riot, except for the boy's mother. She tried but failed, to destroy Kigaboocha with her purse. Kigaboocha now knew his purpose.

So, not saying what method you should use to get your kids to eat their veggies or do their homework, or perhaps practice their flute, but uh, you know. There are ways. There are always ways.


I can't draw pictures of monsters. So, yeah.

Some parting wisdom;


50% of all people are 100% of 50% of people.


~Xavier R.


Playlist 10-21-2015


Sunshine Of Your Love - Cream

Ace Of Spades - Motorhead

Next Episode - Dr. Dre

Pearl Jam - Animal

I like Big Butts - Sir Mix A lot

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