Uh Oh

This morning, in the length of about 45 minutes, I met a girl, brought her home, fucked her, and she left. After two years of not getting any, two years of failing at relationships, two years of having chances and not taking them, I finally snagged up some slut that I didn't know, and fucked her.

At first, I was stoked, and it made my day. Life felt good, with me getting some pussy. Then later, as in now, I just feel really weird about it. That despite the fact that I conquered a particular part of myself, just gave in and "got me some", I still feel like I failed some how.

I still feel angry, cynical, weird, awkward, fat, itchy on my lower belly (I think its the dairy) and frustrated. I feel dark, and dirty. Shit, I never even exchanged names with the chick. What the fuck.

Then again, I did get laid.

~Xavier R.

Duke Nukem Forever

Nothing like bloody gibs and playful misogynism to make for a good evening.If I'm not punching giant monsters in the balls after copious amounts of rockets to the face (its face), I'm playing against basement dwellers online, gleefully accepting constant demise as I vow revenge. Over and over. I love you violence. You too, internet.

Here's something that will hurt your soul;


This may cause damage also(or heal it, depending on your views);



Uh, about it.

Oh, I can't forget. Here is a thing I randomly stole of a news site to show how back into touch with "society" I'm getting. Did I even read this before hand? No. Shows you how much I care about things that aren't things I like.

Don't tip. They're racists,

~Xavier R.

Making Music with Michael McCormack

 
Amazing what you can do with Guitar Pro, I sincerely recommend it to anyone.

Firstly, the title: I got the idea from The Young Turks. I hate conservative women with a passion, they're a real boner killer.

There's also no vocals, but I've got lyrics. They don't really have much to do with the title. They'll come in around the 1:38 mark.

The sun hasn't changed kid

It's only gotten a little different

the earth is on fire

but the sky's still for rent

I like to watch it some times

to see the scenery melt

the ugliness in the reflection

prettiest thing you ever felt

you like to watch it steam

I like to feel it glow

I'll eat that copper, dear

then I'll have to go.

So yeah, I'm gonna get drunk later and record the vocals, it's gonna be awesome.

Hossum!

Love Big Mike.

Do you believe in god?

Last night at work as I was putting misc. stuff on a misc. shelf, I swore, as I usually do. However, a customer heard me, and seemed to be taken aback. I looked over and up, and apologized up and down. He looked deep into my eyes and said
"No matter." And then they took off all his clothes. This was, of course, very shocking to me, and I just kept kneeling there, in the terror of the unknown possibilities. He then said
"I am the Duke!" As he began to levitate and spin, with a bowl of blue jello materialized into his hand.

As he spun and hovered, his body contorted and his bones crackled, all the while still balancing the bowl of blue jello. It wasn't long until he burst into flames and shot through the ceiling. I promptly decided to tell no one who didn't already notice, and went back to my shelf stocking.

A new topic; Chicks from my past.

Why do I keep seeing/hearing/running into them? As soon as such matters find their way into the farthest reaches of the back of my skull, in come more reason to dwell on old thoughts. Fate heeds I conquered the unconquered? It makes you wonder. Bah di di dum. It makes you think.

Just thought of this after I had already typed everything else up. But resolve. Fate heeds I constantly test my resolve. I need not linger on past stomping grounds. I should just conquer the grounds those grounds reside within. Well put, me. Well put, you genius son of a man.

Fret not, minions O Mike, I will have Kee Mao sometime soon. Very soon.

Kisses,

~Xavier R.

Is it weird that I stare when I masturbate?

Commercials me stupid. Even ones on the internet. I like candy. omfg what? Anyways, stupid commercials. I didn't even talk about commercials to bring up my unpaid advert for candy. See? What?

Everyone is the same pretty much. I'm sober as a kitten, and my brain is a box of tangerines. I'm smoking a cigar right now, and god damn it I'm ENJOYING MYSELF

XXX; Means dicking of vag, vaging of vag, dicking of dick, or mouthing of anus. I may have missed a few. Animals don't count. Sorry. For nothing.

The night before last I saw the last girl I've fucked. The night before that I saw the first girl I ever saw completely strip that I wasn't about to bone.

Here it is, the picture that always comes nowadays

 Goat Brie ftw,

~Xavier R.

p.s. An English girl once told me she'd have my "little black babies." Awesome.

Es schreibt im Blog oder es wird der Schlauch wieder.

 

"Big Black is a decent band and all, but it's not worth making the whole house smell like smoke and shit. I just cleaned the carpets"

So I figure I'd write something quick before I went to work. Something just for my buddy Xavier.

I was thinking about a rig set up. How about a custom thunderbird with a rickenbacker 4003 set-up (that is two seperate outputs for each pick-up) one pick up going through a bass distortion pedal into an ashdown. The other going into an octaver that transposes the signal up one octave and turns the signal into a fifth of itself, into a Big Muff and finally into an orange.

Doesn't that sound fuckin' sexy?

For the rest of our readership, which seems for one reason or another, be all lesbians, a picture of my penis:

Love Big Mike, n'shit.

Head Fuckery, at it's Finest.

So I pretended I was a moron for five minutes and listened to a song by Marilyn Manson and well... just listen. I'll wait.

That's got to be the most offensive song ever.
Again, if you're handy dandy idiot goggles happen to be on.
Lets hope you didn't super glue them to your skull, you fucking moron.
Seriously, the only reason you're alive is because we can't put you down.


Topic: When is the last time you had your brain pussy penetrated? probably never like I'm about to fuck it.

Y'see you might have read a good book or maybe even seen a good movie that makes you re-evaluate the way you see the world. The first time you read a bummer ending is always better then ten happy endings because it's real and and it hits you hard. Slams the g-spot in your skull like the dirty whore it is and you love it.

I thought I had a pretty colorful repartee of books and movies under my considerable belt, until I asked my friend charlie about what books I should read.

My friend Charlie.

"I dont read fiction, but if I had to suggest a novel, the only one I would suggest would have to be 'House of Leaves'"

 

"What's it about?" I ask

"It's a book about a book about a movie about a house that's bigger on the inside then it is on the outside"

"You're shitting me, how long is it?"

"about 700 pages, it's got an index too, and footnotes. Some of it's footnotes have footnotes."

"Why the fuck would I even read that?"

"Reading it's like going insane, some of the pages are printed backwards, upside down, in braile, musical notation and some pages only have 3 and a half words on them. It make you feel claustrophobic"

And I bought it, and pretty reasonably too: its like a psychotic, obsessive compulsive college textbookand it's about the size of one too. 20 bucks, get it.

Love Big Mike.

Sorry for the late posts, I'm measuring my apartment compulsively alot these days.

Korn and a cigar in the morning

Everyone meets the darkness. There's no point crying about it.
-Marc Antony(I think?)

Carpe Diem!

~Xavier R.

Greetings Bob 357a. Nutrition consumption at my housing facility?

A tour of the Cube from Mike Page on Vimeo.



1984, anyone?

~Xavier R.

Eyes Wide Shut

Movie Not To Watch 1 - Fast 5
Paul Walker existing, hot girls (but far too cliche in manner), stereotypical racial jokes that aren't even funny, same bullshit plot, and Paul Walker existing. What a shame, because the first two, maybe three (Tokyo Drift Doesn't count) where stomachable. Copy and paste formula doesn't work for movies. When will they learrrrrrrrn?!?!?!

I've moved on to "Understanding Physics" by Isaac Asimov, and I've got to tell you, I've never read a non-fiction  book on science that read so smooth. It's like a top shelf vodka, except I'm not calling up my last girlfriend begging for sex.

Also, I keep seeing hot chicks with douche bag supremos. Knock it off ladies. When none of us well off nice guys wanna take you when we're all in our thirties, it's because we don't think it's fair that you can spend over a decade of dating life being a shallow cunt, THEN settle down. Wanna secure your future? Fuck us now. We deserve it. Sure, we play video games, talk to ourselves, and draw violent, self loathing comics. But hey, we don't cheat, or hit, or force you to strive for perfection, because you already are. Why don't you see that, you dumb cow?
Anti Misogynist Attempt: It goes both ways, blah blah blah.

Mandatory Entry Picture

Tirade over. Commencing log off /func. Jacking off,

~Xavier R.